4O years on...

I was talking with a guy yesterday who, in October this year, will have been married for 40 years. He and his wife were both married at age 22. As I am getting married this year I asked what his advice would be as I start out on the road of marriage. His advice was incredibly simple and genuine, as tears welled up in his eyes as he encouraged me to do what he had said. Always tell your wife that you love her and always keep communication open! Be expressive and be approachable! Be affectionate and open! Say you love her and show her you love her by being available and accessible. Don't zone in on TV, or other pursuits, all the time and leave no room for your wife to know, and feel the knowledge, that she is your ultimate pursuit. I was quite challenged by this guy.

He shared with me the story of his daughter who got married, and a week into the marriage had her husband tell her that the romancing was over, it was time to get on with things. He added quickly that the situation had changed, and that they were now in a romance-filled and committed marriage. However, he used that as a springboard into the advice that once you get married the romance doesn't end but simply begins! It is the beginning of making every effort to woo your wife and to surround her with love, encouragement, protection, and everything she may need to be all that she can be for Jesus! It's the beginning of loving her as Christ loved the church. Caring for her needs and desiring her good above your own. There is a big call, and challenge, upon us as men in many areas of life. Especially in marriage. We are called to make sacrifices in almost every sphere of our lives. In marriage, however, the sacrifices are sweet as they are opportunities to show and express your love to your love. I don't think I am an unrealistic guy, making these sacrifices, I know, will not always be easy; sometimes we are going to want to get our own way; sometimes we may not feel like expressing those things, but that is not the point. The point is that we have entered into covenant so we keep on doing those things, and after 40 years my encourager says keep on going; keep telling her you love her; keep talking to her; be accessible for her to talk to you; romance her; and never give up! Good advice I think!